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Pregnancy and Domestic Abuse Support: A Complete UK Guide

Domestic abuse in pregnancy

Domestic abuse can start, escalate, or change during pregnancy. Around one in twelve women in the UK experiences domestic abuse during pregnancy, and for some, pregnancy is the first time abuse becomes physical.

Abuse is not only physical. It can be emotional, financial, sexual, or coercive control. Pregnancy can make abuse harder to escape and more dangerous, but support is available, and you are not alone.

Recognising abuse

Abuse is any pattern of behaviour used to control, frighten, or harm you. In pregnancy, abuse may include:

  • Physical violence - hitting, pushing, kicking, or restraining you
  • Emotional abuse - name-calling, belittling you, telling you that you will be a bad mother
  • Coercive control - monitoring your movements, your phone, or your money; isolating you from friends and family
  • Financial abuse - taking your money, stopping you from working, or controlling benefits
  • Sexual abuse - any sexual activity without your consent, including in a relationship
  • Controlling your medical care - stopping you from going to appointments or taking medication
  • Threats - to hurt you, the baby, your other children, or your pets

If any of this is happening to you, it is not your fault and it is not acceptable.

Why pregnancy is a risk

Pregnancy can trigger or worsen abuse for several reasons:

  • The abuser may feel jealous of the baby or the attention you are receiving
  • You may be more financially dependent on them
  • You may be less able to leave quickly
  • Stress and changes in the relationship can escalate controlling behaviour
  • The abuser may see the pregnancy as a way to bind you to them

Abuse in pregnancy is linked to higher rates of miscarriage, premature birth, low birth weight, and mental health problems. Getting support is important for you and your baby.

How to get help

If you are in immediate danger, call 999. If you cannot speak safely, dial 55 after the 999 operator answers - this is the Silent Solution system, which tells police you need help.

If you are not in immediate danger but want support, you can contact:

  • The 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline - 0808 2000 247 (run by Refuge). You can call any time, and the line is free.
  • Women's Aid (womensaid.org.uk) - information, live chat, and local services.
  • Refuge (refuge.org.uk) - safe accommodation and support.
  • Bright Sky app - a free, disguised app that provides information and a UK service directory.
  • Your midwife or GP - they are trained to ask about abuse and to help you safely. You can ask to speak to your midwife alone.

You can also ask for a private appointment at your GP or midwife clinic if your partner accompanies you and you cannot speak freely.

Making a safety plan

If you are not ready to leave, you can still take steps to increase your safety:

  1. Memorise key numbers - the 24-hour helpline (0808 2000 247) and 999.
  2. Pack a bag with essentials (documents, medication, money, baby items) and keep it somewhere safe, such as at a friend's house.
  3. Talk to a trusted person about what is happening, even if you are not ready to leave.
  4. Keep a record of incidents, including dates, if it is safe to do so.
  5. Arrange childcare for any other children if you need to leave quickly.
  6. Tell your midwife so they can plan your care safely and discreetly.

Housing and money

If you leave, you have housing rights. Your local council has a duty to help if you are homeless because of abuse. You may be entitled to:

  • Emergency refuge accommodation
  • Universal Credit in your own name
  • Child benefit and other support
  • Legal aid for injunctions such as a non-molestation order

Citizens Advice (citizensadvice.org.uk) and Rights of Women (rightsofwomen.org.uk) can advise on your legal and financial options.

After the baby

Abuse often escalates after birth. Having a safety plan in place, a support network, and a midwife or health visitor who knows your situation is important. You can also ask about a birth plan that keeps you safe on the ward, such as not sharing your location with visitors.

You are not alone

It takes courage to reach out. Whatever your situation, there are people who will believe you and help you. Call the 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247 - you do not have to be ready to leave to call. You just have to be ready to talk.